Finding Ones Feet

I need a hug. I say that hesitantly so as to ward off my 'funnier' friends (you all know who you are you giant jokers) who will all take that as a sign to envelope me in cud cuds. That is not what I am after. I am still awkward and seize up like a corpse when loving arms are wrapped around me. I almost, and this is odd, but I almost want to give someone a cud cud. I won't though.

(Me every time)

The thing about being a single twenty something, is that you have to strike a balance between being happy and independent, and yet also needing others in your life to be dependable as that's what you have. The value in having another another half (a luffer if you wish) is that you always have someone on your team. When all around you people are in couples, they are all these teams you are up against as a solo player. That's where family and friends come into play as essentially they are your team mates. These players are 'your person' (said Yang to Grey), so when you are sad, mad or bad (said Dr Seuss) , they are the ones you turn to, to get you back out on the field again. 

In saying that, there are times when not everyone is on your team. You can turn to them for advice, support or a cud cud and they are singing a different tune. In the end, when you are not getting what you need from your team, as a single twenty something it is very easy to stray down the path of confusion, in wishing, missing wishing for strawberry kisses (said Nikki Webster) and craving to have that other soul half in your life, just so you have that stability of a in good times or bad support system- happy wife, happy life.

(I hate Swifty but she has hit the nail on the head for this one)

The past year I have gone through a transition where I have very much had a security blanket of always coming home to my two supporting team mates and finding every solution to every problem in a giggle with them. If I had a bad day the cure would be some treatment from my sistahs and all would be ok again. Yet life as I knew it, had to change, the fast pace of growing up sweeping our little nest off the branch and now I find I can feel lost, dealing with being the eldest sister who lives at home, while Khloe has left, struck a Beyonce level of independence and very much grown into her own life, and Kourtney is living the life of a serious loved up lover/late teen busy busy busy on her own. As much as you depend on others in your life, there is also a natural urge to feel like others still need you as well. All while this happens I am still.

The twenty somethings are all about growing and finding yourself. I think constantly having your constants turn upside down is all for a reason, and I believe that you need to learn how to first and foremost manage on your own, as things change around you and often move away from the comfort you had come to depend on. This isn't necessarily bad, as much as I crave the old days there is no point living in the past and I am proud that I am the keeper of two younger, independent models in my life-but it is hard, to work out the next step for myself and be my own cheerleader. I can't control how relationships/friendships change, nor can I control what I get out of them but I can control what I do next. It can be hard to find ones feet when you feel abit angsty (a la Swifty style), like the players just don't get you anymore but rather than be wounded by this need for approval find solace in the fact that:

Home is where the magic happens. Home can change.  Home grows. At the end of the day the memories stay in the Home. Home is wherever I'm with you.

A song for the story: 


Alabama, Arkansas, I do love my Ma & Pa 
Not the way that I do love you 

Holy Moley, Me-oh-My, you're the apple of my eye 
Girl, I've never loved one like you 

Man, oh man, you're my best friend, 
I scream it to the nothingness 
There ain't nothin' that I need 

Well, hot & heavy, pumpkin pie, 
chocolate candy, Jesus Christ 
There ain't nothin' please me more than you 

Ahh, Home 
Let me come Home 
Home is wherever I'm with you

La la la la, take me Home 
Mama, I'm coming Home 

I'll follow you into the park, 
through the jungle, through the dark 
Girl, I've never loved one like you 

Moats & boats & waterfalls, 
alley ways & pay phone calls 
I've been everywhere with you 

That's true 

We laugh until we think we'll die, 
barefoot on a summer night 
Never could be sweeter than with you. 

And in the streets we're running free, 
like i's only you and me 
Geez, you're somethin' to see. 

Ahh, Home 
Let me come Home 
Home is wherever I'm with you 

La la la la, take me Home 
Mama, I'm coming Home 

Ahh, Home 
Let me come Home 
Home is whenever I'm with you 
Ahh, Home 
Let me come Home 
Home is when I'm alone with you 

Alabama, Arkansas, 
I do love my Ma & Pa 
Moats & Boats & Waterfalls, 
Alleyways & Pay phone Calls. 

Home is when I'm alone with you. 
Home is when I'm alone with you.

(Vid came from here)


Are you going through any big changes? Is twenty something overwhelming you? Do you sometimes feel like you are still while everything races ahead? Would love to hear your stories x

New York DVF style

How fabulous are these pics from designer and global icon Diane von Furstenberg's New York abode? First seen here and then here, I just had to share them as well!

 

You can check out the awesomeness of this label here

 

Home

I came across this excellent post the other day from Jen Bishop over at Interiors Addict and it made me think: How my home was growing up affects how I live now.

The first thing to note is that I still live at home so am still confined to the habits I was raised with, but that hasn’t stopped me from mentally developing my own habits for when I move out (aka when I can control my finances better)

The second thing to note is that I know I have had a very privileged upbringing, the daughter of a highly corporate banker and a highly dedicated stay at home mum, it has been rare that I have ever really had to fend for myself. In saying that though, I would say myself and my two sisters are far from being spoilt brats as we were raised to value our things, work hard for what we want and to have good manners in every situation. We were never given anything for free there was always a lesson attached.

Speaking for myself I would also say I am much less of a brat and rather more so just plain useless. But my efforts are not without heart. No I don’t know how to use a washing machine- the thought actually scares me with how much I could ruin all my clothes. I was informed the other day that even when I try to hang clothes on the line I still do that wrong – I didn’t even know there was a right way!

 

We did chores when we were younger for pocket money but that was after the hard part was done for us, like unloading the dishwasher and putting away the washing up- I can do all that! However at 25, I can use a dishwasher (hesitantly) although I can’t stack the dishes properly. I can wash up although my sisters always have to re-do it because apparently I am just not scrubbing hard enough. I make my own bed getting easily sweaty and frustrated with how annoying it is to keep walking around to get to each corner. Instead of sweeping I dust bust. Every Saturday I clean my own room and literally can’t begin the weekend until it is nice and fresh! My dad has now implemented the one thing in, three things out rule when I go shopping (nice plan, hard to action).

Having had my parents away on holiday for the past ten years(7 weeks whatever) self-sufficiency has had to kick in and oh my- what an effort! Don’t get me wrong, people do this every day and I am not playing victim but I was never aware of how much goes into just running a household.

 

Firstly our LED long light bulb/globe/stick blew out and neither sister knew how to change it. Then a kookaburra moved into our fireplace. Then our oven broke and it was a week of stir fry meals to be had. The floor doesn’t sweep itself. The benches are dirty so easily. The pantry and fridge contents lessen and don’t refill. The bunny doesn’t feed himself. Meat doesn’t come out of the freezer and defrost on its own. Dinner takes time. Shows don’t automatically tape themselves and rubbish doesn’t empty and replenish itself. We have pulled through all these issues and the house is still standing and for the purpose of this post while I may not be able to do the ‘bigger’ things, how I was raised shines through how I act today.

For example, I would never dare bend the corner of a book page to mark where I am at. As one of three sisters we always had our own things so admittedly I am not great with sharing because I was lucky enough and even still today, to have an overwhelming amount of things that I rarely need to ‘borrow’ or share. When I stay in a hotel room it will always look like how I first walked in I keep all my things neatly together and “put it all back where it came from” words which, when I was younger used to receive an eye roll but now is instilled in me. When I was younger and went mental with plastering tv hits posters all over my wall now resonates in always needing to be surrounded by colour and inspiring pictures (JTT poster is now swapped for small pic of One Direction).  My punishment as an early teen used to be getting  banned from watching Home and Away and that had the effect of a smack with a wooden spoon- I would be gutted. Now I am addicted to buying dvds by dozen so I can watch them whenever I want.

 

Im not totally useless, I love to cook and have even made a copy of mum’s homemade recipe book for the fantasy day when I become a loving time abundant housewife. I do like things clean, I once got picked up from a sleepover because the girl’s house was a dumpsite and I couldn’t stay there! I value all my belongings, perhaps too much, yet in a way that if I ever borrow from anyone I return straight away in the same condition and I get anxious when I feel like I’ve had it for too long. I believe I am handy I just am better when left to my own devices. I can’t wait to be super house proud when I have my own place, and being orphaned has brought out a little of the domestic skills I will need to use which is daunting yet exciting. But for now mum and dad are banned from any more holidays!

*I also didn't realise plants need watering