Act Yo Age

I've been thinking this week. What do you like that you think maybe you 'shouldn't'?

It was recently put to me by someone that a lot of my interests are in line with a teenage girls, and that as I steamroll into turning 27, perhaps I 'should' start to align myself with a more mature consumption of interests.

As first, my head started to dig around for grown up interests that I could justify my wayward tastes with... like oh well I...I...I don't mind cheese and wine nights...and...oh well I read the newspaper often...?

But then I thought oh firetruck that! For a second, a brief second, I let this person make me question who I am. And that my friends, is something no friend should ever make you do.

So here are some of my interests that I thoroughly with my whole heart enjoy/obsess over - and I like them all, I like them so much that I would happily not act my age for them! 

Boy bands:
Lets be honest, One Direction takes the cake but I am also partial to Backstreet Boys, Nsync, 5SOS, Boyzone, The Vamps, Jersey Boys the musical and many more. You know why? Because they make me HAPPY - how could someone singing about living while we're young, as long as they love me, dancing, dirty pop and being larger than life not bring a smile to your face?

Lame ass words:
I regularly sprinkle my sentences with a dose of invented words, cliche sayings or casual colloquialisms. I don't care if it annoys you, I am not structuring my sentences for your enjoyments, it's for mine!
See: toodles, doll, ridic, fo shiz, & pet names; see Pooface, Nunkhead, Slav, Lolo, Shedizz, Baz, Johnwa, Corbags, JC Dubs, Wan Wan, Jessmeenda etc etc

Reality TV:
Yes, I gladly guilt freely devote hours of my life to watching Kardashians, The Bachie, The Block, Jersey Shore, Rachel Zoe and many more - I don't do it because I am trying to find meaning within the shows that I can then analyse, assess and deconstruct for a cultural comment, I watch it because it's frickin entertaining and an escape from the trappings of actual reality because yes I know these shows aren't real - that's why its enjoyable!!

Festivals, gigs and concerts:
I am a groupie, a fan girl, I ride and die for the music (tongue in cheek) and that's never changing. (Also throw in here buying merch at all of the above -that's a like that's also never dying out)

Impulse buying: 
I buy anything and everything. I am in marketing and I am passionate about my industry. If someones hard work or creativity captures my intrigue then by the divine guidance of The Universe and the willingness of my credit card, by golly I will hand over my money to find out more.

Speaking of, The Universe:
Yes, I believe in karmic values. I believe in a greater force making things happen. I believe in trusting The Universe to lead the way and I believe in seeking a higher meaning of life through reading inspirational things, horoscopes, psychics and thought provoking articles - any words that ignite a spark within me or help my mind find reason in a situation.

Street chic/Urban hippy/Skater Girl/Frocked Up/Gangster:
I like wearing whatever the firetruck I want, and that will rarely be anything that is plain and sensible merely to show others that I am 'mature'. Screw that, you only get one life and I am not going to spend it wasting time dressing for others. Actions and accountability will prove that for me, not my choice of dress, taste in music or my choice of hairstyle.

The Shire:
I still live at home and most likely this will be for some time. I don't need to justify this, my circumstances do not me permit to live on my own unless I suddenly have a strong desire for street corners, milk crates and binned food then no, I will not be able to sustain living on my own. This is in no part to not having a huge desire to have my own place, but I choose not to sacrifice location and lifestyle, happiness and finances on living somewhere I am not comfortable in for the sake of being an instant adult. So I wait.

Kmart: 
Who doesn't love buying things at a rounded off low dollar price with the option to do this 24 hours a day?!

Girlpower: 
Beyonce (current alter ego Yonce), Florence, Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, Lily Allen, Gaga and the like, inspire me to get out of my head. They remind me with their strong pop empowered lyrics not to get caught up in the little situations, as they are not sitting around ever feeling sorry for themselves, sad over spilt milk or worried about minor work struggles. No, they are teen girl superstars getting out and making something of themselves with a f**k it attitude, so yes in that capacity, I like these girls.

That's it for me and my youthful taste of life, to be honest I wouldn't know who I was if I didn't like some of these things. I'd imagine I would be quite a boring person.

Tell me your oh so sinful interests! Do they match up to your age bracket or like me do you not giving a flying hoot about acting your age?

(and if anyone ever makes you question how your life interests represent you and your worthiness as a whole person, then they my dear friends, need to be the first and only thing you cross off your interests list)

Rollercoasting Changes

Lately I have been trapped in an amusement park that is my life. As a wise man (Ronan Keating) once said (sang) 'life is a rollercoaster just gotta ride it'...and holy moly am I riding it.

I feel as if the emotions I have been dealing with of late have me on a rollercoaster that unfortunately is dipping and dropping and spinning around and I'm waiting for the slow climb back up.

My career is whooping my ass at the moment and although it is one of the most important things in my life, I feel like the ride has whipped the ground out from under me. I can't keep up, sapped of all energy and without a moment spare to even attempt to shine bright like a diamond (Rihanna) and be good at what I do. Feeling like I've taken two steps forward, ten steps back, flying by the seat of my pants instead, and none of it in my control. Losing my confidence all because time won't permit some self love and nourishment. If the ride could just get to the top and stop if only to give me a minute to catch my breath. The winds are bringing change with it and my lacklustre acceptance toward changes in my life means that I am also struggling to embrace what the unknown holds for me. Instead, I am focusing on what I am losing, not what I could be gaining.

I do that sometimes, (often) I live in my past and worry that I don't know what my future holds. I yearn for what I have lost, rather than be content with what I now have.

In other life news, God I am angry. I have so much anger and I don't know where to direct it. Again, change comes beyond my control over something long ago dealt with and boy am I struggling. If I were a ice-cream sundae then I certainly have been dressed with multiple cherries on top. When change happens, and you can't control it- how do you process it? Hurt and hatred combine like powers of the Captain Planet team (oddly enough, not my first Captain Planet reference on this blog). I am lost in my extreme feelings of anger because they are almost drowned by helplessness. Smothered by absolutely no clue as to what path to take next, what step to take forward and leave the past where it belongs AND do it all with acceptance and peace. I am empty, lost and angry, and have nowhere to offload it.

This post may sound sad but it's not. I started with a quote from Ronan for goodness sake, that is pure joy in itself! I am just overwhlemed by life and feelings and I can't get off the ride to stop the dizzy. Of course, I have my seatbelt and vomit bucket (friends) but I just want to sit down with some fries and watch the show. Instead I'm stuck on the bloody rollercoaster!

Have you ever felt like you were on a ride and couldn't get off? Or did you go and play it safe with the moving clowns heads instead?

Happy Birthday

I love birthdays. I am currently experiencing my one for the year 2013 and I am in love. With my birthday.

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I honestly dread the day that comes when I don't love my birthday. I hope it never happens. I don't understand those people that cringe when their birthday is approaching. The people who don't want to celebrate it or say oh its just another day. I feel sorry that they want to just let it slide past uneventfully. Um no its not just another day, its your BIRTHDAY!!

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I feel we should all take the time, (it only comes around once a year!) to enjoy the fact that this is your day, a whole day (or month if you're me) about you. Where your family and friends celebrate and give thanks and gratitude to YOU. It may sound silly but I love celebrating birthdays, not strictly just mine, I love making someone feel special and putting thought into a gift, a party or just words in a card. Yes you may share this date with millions of others around the world but it is special because it is YOUR date.

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Don't look at it as a pain or another dreaded day to be swept under the rug, look at it as a moment to take stock of your life, who and what is in it. For me, I treat each birthday like New Years Eve, its a second chance to take a minute to appreciate everything around me and to reassess my path I am on and what direction I want to go. A time to show appreciation for whoevers special day it is, as we all know we get caught up in the hustle and bustle and often forget to be appreciative of people in our life. Treat birthdays as a reminder to show thanks for that person. I may look silly getting so excited over my birthday, it may be viewed as immature but it makes me happy, feel GOOD, invigorated and super excited- how can that be silly? It's a breathe of fresh air as another year passes. Time to reflect and be grateful for life. And to celebrate ME!

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Why the hell wouldn't you? x

Mercury Rising

The other day I was listening to a hot little tune from the 90’s on my ipod- play video if you are prepared to have the song stuck in your head for a few days at least- and it got me thinking: Tell me where you’ll be five years from now?

Five years ago I was in a entirely different world to the one I live in now. See interview with my past self and my current self below:

Where do you see yourself in five years?

20: If I am not with my life partner by at least 25 I will die.  If I have not begun to have my children by 27 I fret that I will not be able to be the MILF I dream of being. Working at Hogs Breath as a Hogstar is also a nice means to an end.
At 20 I was also with my first love and whilst I was not so entirely naive to assume we would have a lifetime together, I did lose myself in thinking I already had the fairy tale ending signed, sealed and delivered so when time was called on the relationship, the world as I knew it was taken from under me. I went into a massive 1.5 year downward spiral stemming from figuring out just how someone you could love and give your all to, suddenly decide that eh, I’m just not that into you (now a hit movie- you're welcome world, I did that). At 20, you have no idea and no one can prepare you for this hit. At 20, you think 30 is ancient and you cringe at being Miss Independent not necessarily by choice. Yes, we all have that first heart break but at 20 you don’t know this is your first, all you know is that it was your first and potentially your last as you have no idea how you will come out of this. The world is your soap opera and your only line in the script is ‘but why?’

25: Now, if I was lucky enough to once again feel the added happiness that love brings by 30, I would be so blessed however my life no longer centers on the earlier goal of being a very efficient, organised romantic and having to find my other half according to my critical path which is in sync with my pros and cons list. After a lifetime investment in self help books (whatever gets you through it!) I have become the self helper and am able to envision a life whether it be on my own or shared with someone. My current goals are financial independence and a strong and successful career whilst still maintaining an interest in learning as much as I can. I hope I can one day do more with my writing and maybe sit in the audience of Ellen on a day when she pulls an Oprah and gives out cars.

What do you love?

20: Bob *(name has been changed). Thursday pub night, Friday Fusions, Saturday Carmens and Sunday northies aka Bobs world.

25: My workplace, my family, my friends, my music, my learning, Gangnam style, my zumba, my nana lifestyle, the Kardashians, shopping for my house that I cannot even afford the doormat for, my blog, and my books.

What do you hate?

20: Bob’s ex

25: Everything I think of to list here, the Positive Polly side of my brain shouts out with a counteractive argument as to the good side of hating these things so in conclusion, I don’t hate much at all! i.e 'Brain: train people -Polly: but they are funny!'

What do I want for myself NOW?

Today I feel like I have my shit together, I know what I want, I know I can achieve it and I know that I don’t necessarily need a partner to define what I am worth. I am happy outside of being in love, the search for ‘the one’ has now ceased and become an occasional amusing story that just passes me by with little analysis as to the ‘why’ it did not work out. I am driven to develop a career in marketing. I cherish every moment with my family. My friends are now people I choose to have in my life and relationships that I treasure- between work sistahs and ‘real life’ gal pals I have the most solid crew of laughter, venting, socialite and gig/foodie lovers that are all the number ones in my life. By focusing on a myriad of different life goals and achievements in the path ahead yet being so ‘at one’ with the now I find that life is full and prosperous on its own without requiring me to plan out where I should be. Funny how things change and you can become less self obsessed- by 30 maybe I'll be so changed that Michael Buble finally notices me...?!

** At 20 I also thought Mercury 4 may have made their comeback by now…

Things I'm Grateful For This Week

• The start of summer when the mood is instantly lifted, the breeze is carrying waves of warmth and you realise that you no longer have to wear stockings.
• Razors and Veet- the moment you realise you no longer get to wear stockings.
• Realising what you have. Life is short and more often than not, we are all guilty of getting caught up in our problems and emotions. Take the time to stop and get a grip. There is always someone worse off than you.
• Grill’d burgers. Nom nom nom!
• Casual Fridays brings a casual attitude and I find when your attitude is casual, everything around you is way more fun.
• Instagram. Insta-ntly addicted. (Bet I’m not the first to use that pun)
• The Kardashians.
• Awkward encounters. I die, but others laugh so that’s a nice thing to be able to give back to my people.
• Finally having an encounter that had great potential to be awkward- and it wasn’t!
• This week I worked up the courage to take action on something I really really want and this tiny act of courage delivered me with the inspiration I needed to stay focused on the end goal. Don’t be afraid to make things happen, it’s the only way you can take control of your own life.
• Laughter. Life is so much better when you’re laughing.
• Gangnam Style.