For The Love of Money

Lets talk money. I love it, you love it, we all love it.

Now what about when you are 'dating' someone, how much do you love it then?

For me personally, I always offer to pay when (in the very rare instance) I am out with a male. In my mind I tend to think, well we both work and we are both here so we can both pay. HOWEVER in saying that, it does become tricky when said male just LETS you pay. The voice in your head then says 'Nooooo! I was totally hoping I wouldn't so I can buy that new dress tomozzles'. Food vs imagined new wardrobe can cause stressors in a chickos life. Funny isn't it?

I dated a guy once who was such a dollar whore. We would be out and it would come to paying and he had three sweet and reliable maneuvers he would pull:

1. Read the bill, break it down and casually inform me 'oh just put in $43 for you then'
2. Say no no I got this. I would melt and thank him and feel like such a chuffed dame. Until then at our next venture, the bill would arrive and he would look at me pointedly and say 'did you wanna get this one?'
3. Take my fake offer of a pineapple with no protest and quietly put it down to pay with...

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Umm hello gentlemen of The Shire, when your lady date lays down a fiddy - it's a fake move ALWAYS a fake move. No lady wants to pay a sweet yellow on a first date, she is PRETENDING!! This is a trick to see how white knight on a horse you can be. Everyone knows a fiddy is too much, and too awkward of a note to have to try and break down - hence why a dame offers it up in the first place, as one doth know the fiddy will be shortly returned to her wallet for further use toward pretty garments.

Going forward should a lady offer you her highest bill, politely decline and if she persists then come to an arrangement. I am more than happy to pay my fair share on a recurring dating stretch but on the first date this is a no no. A young lad needs to woo a girl and make her feel worth being paid for, particularly when dining in The Shire when the bill total would rarely go over $50 anyway!

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Another time when I was on THE WORST DATE EVER (read: another post for another day), it was the opposite scenario where I almost got in fisticuffs with said date over a bottle of water! (I feel the need to add here he was of Croatian heritage and hence had a very fiery Croatian passion). He had paid for dinner and took me for ice cream, all very lovely and at the ice cream shop I felt abit parched so grabbed a water from the fridge to buy myself, which little did I know was to be the start of a showdown between me and date. The poor awkward server girl watched on, as we politely but firmly had our first fight (that went for a ridiculously long period) over who pays for the water. For the water for the love of money!!

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Or how about the time I went to lunch with a colleague (read: Non date scenario) and he got up to pay and returning to the table, I thanked him for lunch to which he looked shocked at my assumption he had just paid for both us! Can I get a hashtag awkward??


What are your thoughts on the  Australian Dollar? Needeth the lady pay on the first courting or shall the knight lay down the coin?

All Aboard

Lately I have felt like a sheep.

Why?

Because my train station is implementing new event style marshalling to help control the morning peak hour crowds. This did need actioning as prior to this, most mornings on the train felt like I was a blip on the Bangladesh population scale. I am not affectionate at the best of times let alone dealing with the accidental hand hold, the nose wind on the top of my head and being jammed in so much so that you are literally head to armpit with someone  and making direct eye contact with a third party also squished in.

This is how my week has gone:

Day 1- arrive to platform to usual spot and note blue markings all along the crowd. Whilst JUST noticing these markings I was then promptly yelled at by a man in a high vis vest and a clipboard to "STEP BEHIND THE LINE MA'AM". Voice in my head: oh god I totally just got yelled at in public how embarrassing. Where the frick is this line? I make it on the train and am pleased at how I can breath and not cop a mouthful of curry flavoured air.

Day 2- prepared for any yellings I immediately stood in the blue painted square minding my toe did not dare touch outside the box. The train pulls up and a Maori lady in a high vis vest parts the waters (minions) and with one very strong arm, holds us all back as her other enthusiastic arm waves, waves, waves, waves the people off. Whilst waving she too yells “STEP THIS WAY PLEASE, STAY LEFT, HEAD UP THE STAIRS YES THAT’S RIGHT KEEP MOVING AND HAVE A LOVELY DAY”. Me and a fellow minion exchange a giggle at her vocal yet polite shepherding. I get on the train and again, am enjoying my space but a little gobsmacked at the staff member telling people they cannot get on the train and to wait for the next one. (there is room for them on this one…)

Day 3- I come down the stairs to typically be in an awkward situation where I find myself trapped in a caged off area. I have apparently come down the wrong side of the stairs now and am instantly “directed” to go back and come down the right side of the stairs. Again, the voice in my head: oh no you’re being yelled at again and people are looking at you and good one, you were just in a cage. Upon making it to the ‘right’ side of the stairs I then get hustled along by a staff member who literally was just missing the sheepdog as he yelled “GO FURTHER DOWN THE PLATFORM”. Oh my god, I am flustered, I have just been in a cage and now I have to walk along the platform past millions more people and as a creature of habit, this little sheep just wants to get on her regular carriage! The train comes, the crowd surges and as I go to step on I am weeded out by the bigger sheep and then informed “STAY BACK IN THE SQUARE PLEASE YOU CAN GET THE NEXT ONE”

“I DON’T WANT TO GET THE NEXT ONE I WANT THIS ONE!!!!”

Day 4- I am feeling strong, I come down the right side of the stairs, avoid the cage and stand right in the middle of the blue square. The train comes and after a quick interview “DO YOU NEED TO GET ON THIS ONE OR NOT?” I am permitted to hop on this one. I am enjoying the space but I am also feeling more and more anxious each day and I brace myself for the next nip at my heels.

I see the point and I commend the goal, they have managed to get two extras trains in the hour now due to this new '60 second’ policy, however the loss of freedom while at first, was entertaining, has now become almost degrading as majority of the crowd have stopped fighting it and we all stand mute munching on some grass until the next dog barks.