Tuesday, 3 December 2013

For The Love of Money

Lets talk money. I love it, you love it, we all love it.

Now what about when you are 'dating' someone, how much do you love it then?

For me personally, I always offer to pay when (in the very rare instance) I am out with a male. In my mind I tend to think, well we both work and we are both here so we can both pay. HOWEVER in saying that, it does become tricky when said male just LETS you pay. The voice in your head then says 'Nooooo! I was totally hoping I wouldn't so I can buy that new dress tomozzles'. Food vs imagined new wardrobe can cause stressors in a chickos life. Funny isn't it?

I dated a guy once who was such a dollar whore. We would be out and it would come to paying and he had three sweet and reliable maneuvers he would pull:

1. Read the bill, break it down and casually inform me 'oh just put in $43 for you then'
2. Say no no I got this. I would melt and thank him and feel like such a chuffed dame. Until then at our next venture, the bill would arrive and he would look at me pointedly and say 'did you wanna get this one?'
3. Take my fake offer of a pineapple with no protest and quietly put it down to pay with...

Umm hello gentlemen of The Shire, when your lady date lays down a fiddy - it's a fake move ALWAYS a fake move. No lady wants to pay a sweet yellow on a first date, she is PRETENDING!! This is a trick to see how white knight on a horse you can be. Everyone knows a fiddy is too much, and too awkward of a note to have to try and break down - hence why a dame offers it up in the first place, as one doth know the fiddy will be shortly returned to her wallet for further use toward pretty garments.

Going forward should a lady offer you her highest bill, politely decline and if she persists then come to an arrangement. I am more than happy to pay my fair share on a recurring dating stretch but on the first date this is a no no. A young lad needs to woo a girl and make her feel worth being paid for, particularly when dining in The Shire when the bill total would rarely go over $50 anyway!

Another time when I was on THE WORST DATE EVER (read: another post for another day), it was the opposite scenario where I almost got in fisticuffs with said date over a bottle of water! (I feel the need to add here he was of Croatian heritage and hence had a very fiery Croatian passion). He had paid for dinner and took me for ice cream, all very lovely and at the ice cream shop I felt abit parched so grabbed a water from the fridge to buy myself, which little did I know was to be the start of a showdown between me and date. The poor awkward server girl watched on, as we politely but firmly had our first fight (that went for a ridiculously long period) over who pays for the water. For the water for the love of money!!

Or how about the time I went to lunch with a colleague (read: Non date scenario) and he got up to pay and returning to the table, I thanked him for lunch to which he looked shocked at my assumption he had just paid for both us! Can I get a hashtag awkward??

What are your thoughts on the  Australian Dollar? Needeth the lady pay on the first courting or shall the knight lay down the coin?