I fell sick this weekend. It all began with a husky voice that developed on Thursday, I kinda liked it. Come Friday the 'black lung' cough began, just the one exertion that triggered every 15 minutes, and worsened at times it would be awkward to cough i.e in business meetings and on train. Saturday I was feeling run down and struggling with feeling the effects of a very busy past two months. Sunday brought with it the blocked nose and the need for bed rest and today I am bed bound, powering through the tissues and too weak to do anything.
It's funny how when you are sick the true patient reveals itself. You generally hit your rock bottom, where the top is strong and rational, and the bottom is victim of the decade. I've heard text messages go off and its taken me an hour before I work up the energy to pick up phone from right next to me and reply. I've looked at my bookcase, just staring wondering what I might read next should I ever be able to walk over to it and select a book. I've attempted to clean out my gmail by embracing the time to go through each mail yet getting bored after the first line of every blog post/promotion and deleting it anyways. I can't sleep as I feel unproductive. I've planned out my entire return to work with what will need to be tackled first. I've envisioned my next run at the gym. I can't be bothered getting up to go to the toilet so I have been surviving by tipping a droplet of water into my mouth every few minutes. My lips are cracked and dry but God knows how far away the relief of a good lip gloss could be. I'd like some fresh air but that's also outside of my bedroom. I'm abit hungry but food is downstairs.
So on and so forth.
It's funny how we can't relax when our body calls for it. Whilst I've been in bed all day guilt has hovered over me,with missing work and getting caught behind in my workload, with not having kept up with my blog lately, guilt over the magazines that come into the house yet none get read- they pile up resembling a new IKEA bedside table! Watching the time pass and then feeling more guilty for not having stopped and tried to enjoy the rest that my body has been crying out for. Vicious cycle anyone?
When my health returns *said with one hand resting frailly across forehead* I wish to come up with some structure and plans to look forward to, to invest in my own health and well-being and to make the most of my time to not get caught up in it all. Stay inspired and motivated. Care along the way will prevent a sick day! (hey-look at that, girl can write catchphrase rhyme when on deathbed!)