Friday, 12 October 2012

Mercury Rising

The other day I was listening to a hot little tune from the 90’s on my ipod- play video if you are prepared to have the song stuck in your head for a few days at least- and it got me thinking: Tell me where you’ll be five years from now?

Five years ago I was in a entirely different world to the one I live in now. See interview with my past self and my current self below:
Where do you see yourself in five years?

20: If I am not with my life partner by at least 25 I will die.  If I have not begun to have my children by 27 I fret that I will not be able to be the MILF I dream of being. Working at Hogs Breath as a Hogstar is also a nice means to an end.
At 20 I was also with my first love and whilst I was not so entirely naive to assume we would have a lifetime together, I did lose myself in thinking I already had the fairy tale ending signed, sealed and delivered so when time was called on the relationship, the world as I knew it was taken from under me. I went into a massive 1.5 year downward spiral stemming from figuring out just how someone you could love and give your all to, suddenly decide that eh, I’m just not that into you (now a hit movie- you're welcome world, I did that). At 20, you have no idea and no one can prepare you for this hit. At 20, you think 30 is ancient and you cringe at being Miss Independent not necessarily by choice. Yes, we all have that first heart break but at 20 you don’t know this is your first, all you know is that it was your first and potentially your last as you have no idea how you will come out of this. The world is your soap opera and your only line in the script is ‘but why?’

25: Now, if I was lucky enough to once again feel the added happiness that love brings by 30, I would be so blessed however my life no longer centers on the earlier goal of being a very efficient, organised romantic and having to find my other half according to my critical path which is in sync with my pros and cons list. After a lifetime investment in self help books (whatever gets you through it!) I have become the self helper and am able to envision a life whether it be on my own or shared with someone. My current goals are financial independence and a strong and successful career whilst still maintaining an interest in learning as much as I can. I hope I can one day do more with my writing and maybe sit in the audience of Ellen on a day when she pulls an Oprah and gives out cars.

What do you love?

20: Bob *(name has been changed). Thursday pub night, Friday Fusions, Saturday Carmens and Sunday northies aka Bobs world.

25: My workplace, my family, my friends, my music, my learning, Gangnam style, my zumba, my nana lifestyle, the Kardashians, shopping for my house that I cannot even afford the doormat for, my blog, and my books.

What do you hate?

20: Bob’s ex

25: Everything I think of to list here, the Positive Polly side of my brain shouts out with a counteractive argument as to the good side of hating these things so in conclusion, I don’t hate much at all! i.e 'Brain: train people -Polly: but they are funny!'

What do I want for myself NOW?

Today I feel like I have my shit together, I know what I want, I know I can achieve it and I know that I don’t necessarily need a partner to define what I am worth. I am happy outside of being in love, the search for ‘the one’ has now ceased and become an occasional amusing story that just passes me by with little analysis as to the ‘why’ it did not work out. I am driven to develop a career in marketing. I cherish every moment with my family. My friends are now people I choose to have in my life and relationships that I treasure- between work sistahs and ‘real life’ gal pals I have the most solid crew of laughter, venting, socialite and gig/foodie lovers that are all the number ones in my life. By focusing on a myriad of different life goals and achievements in the path ahead yet being so ‘at one’ with the now I find that life is full and prosperous on its own without requiring me to plan out where I should be. Funny how things change and you can become less self obsessed- by 30 maybe I'll be so changed that Michael Buble finally notices me...?!

** At 20 I also thought Mercury 4 may have made their comeback by now…

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